


Zero Fucks

by TheFlutteringWhore



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Fluff, Henchmen, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Purgatory, and sex, the Fluttering Horde
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-02-12 22:07:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21483601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlutteringWhore/pseuds/TheFlutteringWhore
Summary: Scott had always considered himself fairly conservative when it came to sex. It was never his top priority and he didn't think about it too often compared to the men around him.Well, he never considered himself to be anything other than heterosexual either, but a lot changes when you die.
Relationships: Zero/Speedy
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Once his neck snapped Scott felt excruciating pain. Then, it dulled. Silence. Soon his mind expanded and he felt everything all at once. It lasted for one second, or it may have lasted a million years. Whatever the case, before he knew it, he felt his soul begin to slowly take shape. He had a body again.  
Scott looked down at his body, and he didn't know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't his henchman uniform. His disappointment doubled when he looked around and saw that he was back in the cocoon.  
“No, this can't be right. I hench for no man!” He said to himself as he clenched his fists.  
“Get used to it pal, you're stuck like that.”  
Scott tensed up. “Who's there?”  
Stepping out from behind a wall was a Monarch henchman.  
“Hi, I'm henchman 28 and I'll be your guide to this fucked-up afterlife.”  
“Okay, henchman 28. How do I change clothes?”  
“Oh no no no, you can't change clothes here. You're stuck with those.”  
“Forever?”  
“Well...not necessarily. Here, walk with me.”  
28 motioned the taller man to follow him, so he did.  
“So where am I? Heaven, Hell?”  
“Neither. You, my friend, have the honor of being in what me and the others call ‘Samson purgatory’. Everyone here has something in common; we were all killed by Brock Samson.”  
“So...I'm not going to Heaven?”  
“You tried to force a child man to kill his best friend albino. If anything you should go to Hell. Ah, here we are!”  
28 gestured to a door that would have been the control room on the cocoon.  
“This is the room where we watch Brock Samson's life. We spend most of our time in this room. It's very interesting.”  
He lead him further down the hall and pointed to another room. Screams could be heard from the other side of the door.  
“This is the 'torture Hitler’ room. That's always fun.”  
“Wait, Samson killed Hitler?”  
“You'd be surprised who he's killed. Oh oh, we're coming up on my favorite room!”  
He stopped in front of where the lounge would be.  
“This is the room where we- well, see for yourself!”  
Scott opened the door and immediately covered his eyes.  
“Jumpin’ Jehosaphat!”  
The first thing he had laid eyes on before shielding them was a skinny henchman sexually pleasuring 4 men at once. Henchman 28 smiled.  
“Oh don't be such a prude. That lovely little slut right there is Speedy. Brock never kills women, so you'll have to settle for his twink ass. He looks busy right now, but I'm sure he'll say hi to you later. He's famous around here.”  
Scott turned around.  
“Okay, I've seen enough. Where are my quarters?”  
“Here, I'll show you. We play board games sometimes too you know.”  
28 showed Scott where his room was.  
“There's your space. Whelp, you're on your own now. Bye.”  
He exited abruptly, leaving Scott to ruminate on his situation.  
He never imagined this was what it would be like to be dead. It'll take some getting used to to be sure, and he had so many questions. Where did the people who weren't killed by Brock go? Like his Great Aunt Sally, would he ever see her again? Why the cocoon? Why can you watch Brock's life? And...why does sex still feel good?  
He felt his face heat up remembering that boy...Speedy. He wondered what it'd be like to…  
He shook his head. No, that sort of thing was beneath him. Besides, he was straight.  
Still, it's not as if you can get STDs in the afterlife.  
But Scott was a man of principle. He wouldn't go giving it up to just anybody...which was the exact reason he hardly got any when he was alive (not to mention he was a huge stick-in-the-mud). Which he was totally fine with…right?  
He decided he would sleep on it.  
…  
Nope. Not working.  
Well, might as well go out and play a board game. Or something.


	2. Chapter 2

Scott made his way to one of the rooms he hadn't been in; the gaming room. There were men playing board games and some at arcade machines. He went to examine the shelves where the board games were before hearing a voice behind him.  
“Hey!” It cracked.  
He looked to the side to see none other than the young henchman going by the name “Speedy”. Immediately the image flashed in his mind of the very man standing next to him being ejaculated on. He looked away.  
“Hello.”  
“Wanna play Street Fighter II?”  
“I'm not one for video games.”  
“We can play something else. What do you like?”  
Scott had no idea what he did to make this young man so interested in him, but he found he couldn't say no to such enthusiasm. He tried to think of his favorite 2 player game.  
“Battleship.”  
Speedy frowned.  
“That's…” he forced a smile. “Totally cool! I love uh...Battleship. Here, I'll get it out for you.”  
Scott was not prepared for Speedy to bend over and present his firm behind to him. And the way he had his back straightened...was he doing it on purpose?  
Scott banished that thought from his head. he was surprised at himself for thinking such an unnecessarily scandalous thing.   
After what may have been a few seconds too long, Speedy rose with the game in his hand and brought it to a vacant table. Scott helped him set up and soon they were playing.  
“A6”  
“Miss”  
A few guesses went by.  
“So, henchman 1 was it? C3.”  
“Miss. I would prefer if you called me ‘Zero’. E5.”  
“Miss. Okay Zero, what made Brock want to kill you? B2.”  
“Miss…” Scott hadn't really thought about it, but now he was remembering  
“I…went insane. I acted like a monster. I forced innocent people to die…oh god”  
He felt an overwhelming rush of guilt.   
“There is no excuse for what I've done…”  
Speedy frowned.  
“Hey it's okay dude. We're the bad guys, remember? Sounds like you just did it better than the rest of us. You gonna guess?”  
“...B5.”  
“Miss. Yeah, I failed my job pretty hard. E4.”  
“Miss. So I've heard. You were overzealous and you paid the price. Such is the folly of youth. B3.”  
“...Yeah I guess. Hit.”  
The game continued. No conversation happened until a couple more rounds in when Speedy spoke up.  
“Did you have a girlfriend?”  
Scott was caught off guard by the question, but answered anyway.  
“I hadn't had a significant other for years before I died.”  
“Me neither. I died a virgin actually. I'm making up for that now though!”  
_No kidding_, Scott thought as the image of the younger man taking it from multiple men flashed in his head again.  
“So you...like that?”  
“You mean do I like getting fucked?”  
Scott winced. He regretted his question.  
“I love it! It's my favorite pastime! Nothing better than taking it up the ass! Though a close second is sucking someone off. I also let guys blow their load on my-”  
“Okay! That's enough, thank you.”  
“What about you? How do you plan on spending your afterlife?”  
Scott paused. “...I hadn't really thought about it.”  
“If you want, I could use the time I'm not having sex to keep you company.”  
“That's...kind of you, really, but…no thank you. B5.”  
“Oh. Why? Also you sunk my battleship.”  
“I'm better off on my own.”  
“Won't you get lonely?”  
“I deserve it.”  
Speedy pouted. “I don't think you do, Zero.”  
“With all due respect, you don't know me.”  
Speedy said nothing. Scott looked at his board. They kept playing even as he wallowed in self-loathing. Before he knew it his ships were all sunk.  
“You win.”  
Speedy smiled and extended his hand. Scott shook it.  
“Good game,” Speedy said.  
“Yes…”  
As Scott turned away he heard Speedy whisper something. He looked back at him.  
“What was that?”  
“I said I'll play another game with you later!”  
“Oh…sure.”  
Scott walked away. He made his way to his room thinking about what Speedy had whispered.  
_“You don't deserve that,”_ he was sure the young man had said.


	3. Chapter 3 - Zero's motivation? Never heard of her

Scott didn't know how long he had spent in his room, ruminating on his life, but after some time his thoughts began to turn towards Speedy.  
That boy...wanted to spend time with him. He could not fathom why. He wasn't offering him the sex he so cherishes. Speedy actually took an interest in him. Which is strange to say the least, Scott didn't typically attract the cheery type. Speedy seemed like an optimist, even a good person from what Scott could tell. He was also quite...attractive. His lean, finely muscled frame was highlighted by his tight clothes. His face was covered with acne, yet that almost made him seem-  
A knock at his door interrupted his thoughts.  
“Yes?”  
“Hey Zero, wanna play uno with us?” Said a voice that belonged to the very man he was thinking about. He paused.  
“Please?”  
He got up and opened the door to see Speedy, who smiled widely when he saw him.  
“Cool!”  
Speedy walked down the hallway with Scott in tow, a light spring in his step.  
_His energy, the way he carries himself, his optimistic demeanor… it's…kind of..._  
_Cute._  
They got to the gaming room and Scott saw a familiar figure waving at them from a table.  
“I can't believe you got him! Hey henchman 1- I mean Zero.”  
“Hello henchman 28.”  
They sat down and Speedy dealt the cards.  
“So how's the afterlife treating ya?” 28 asked Scott.  
“I don't know.”  
“You seem kinda depressed. Lighten up! No use spending eternity moping.”  
Scott said nothing.  
“Wanna talk about it?” Speedy asked.  
"...that day Samson beat me within an inch of my life was the day I realized I didn't matter. It was a rude awakening. I snapped and was filled with rage which I took out on innocent people, all for the sake of becoming a villain in the hopes that someone would give a damn about me, but…"  
Scott couldn't bring himself to finish.  
"...draw 4."  
"Listen," said 28. "We were henchmen. The Monarch, our friends and family, our fellow henchmen? They gave zero fucks whether we lived or died. It's just how things are."  
Scott was taken aback by this little speech. It certainly didn’t help his mood. They sat there paused for a bit.  
“Hey Speedy, it’s your turn,” 28 nudged him.  
“...I gotta go.”  
He laid down his cards, got up, and left. 28 looked worried.  
“Hm. I sense I said something wrong.” he looked at Scott.  
“Hey, go talk to him for me would ya? He seems to like you.”  
“And just what do you expect me to say?”  
“Do you think I would send you after him if I knew what to say? Just show him you care. He’ll probably be in his room. We gave him the honors of staying in room 69, since it was so fitting. Now go!” He attempted to push Scott, which was akin to trying to push a brick wall. Scott got the idea though.  
“Alright I’m going.”


	4. Chapter 4

Scott made himself walk out through the door and down the hallway to Speedy’s room. He hesitated before knocking on his door.  
“Who’s there?” the weak voice cracked.  
“Zero. May I come in?”  
“S-sure.”  
Scott opened the door to see Speedy sitting on his bed hugging his knees to his chest. Once he closed the door behind him Speedy spoke.  
“He didn’t have to say that. It...brought up some very painful feelings y’know?”  
“Yes, I suppose it was somewhat uncalled for.”  
Speedy sniffed. “Zero? Could you stay in here with me for a bit?”  
Scott felt somewhat uncomfortable at the idea. Yet…  
“Sure.”  
Speedy smiled.  
“Thank you so much! Please make yourself comfortable.”  
_Easier said than done,_ Scott though. He looked around to find a place to sit to no avail, until Speedy moved to the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to him. Scott hesitated but sat down anyway. He looked anywhere but at the smaller man, whose gaze was focused on him. Speedy spoke.  
"You're so lonely, Zero." Speedy said softly. Scott didn't respond. "You know, I'm very lonely too."  
Scott looked at him, a bit surprised. "But you have so many…partners."  
Speedy smiled sadly. "Yeah...but they don't see me as a person, they see me as something to use. None of them are my friends."  
"Oh. I'm...sorry."  
Speedy stood up.   
"We can help each other, you know. It doesn't have to be lonely." He stepped closer to Scott. "I need someone strong to be there for me." He stood in front of him, almost between his knees. "You need someone positive to make you happy." He brought his face close to his. "We could be great together Zero." Scott's mind raced when he realized what Speedy was about to do. Before their lips could touch the older man stood up, put a hand to his chest and pushed him away. Speedy stumbled and looked up, hurt.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I...I have to go."  
Scott briskly made his way to the door.  
"Wait. Zero wait!"  
But it was no use, for soon Scott was gone and Speedy was once again alone.


	5. Chapter 5 - Angst

Scott laid on his bed, his mind swarmed with conflicting emotions. So that's why Speedy was trying to get close to him. He should have known. Why would the other man like him other than to get in his pants? Why would anyone like him?  
He heard a knock at his door.  
"Please leave me alone."  
"Hey, Zero? It's 28. Can I talk to you?"  
"Go away, I need to be alone with my thoughts."  
"No way, you obviously need someone to talk some sense into you about Speedy."  
"...he told you?"  
"Nah, I figured from how upset he was. What did you do?"  
"I refused his advances. I do not wish to be just another one of his sexual conquests."  
There was a pause.  
"God Zero, you really think that's what this is about?"  
Scott said nothing. 28 sighed.  
"You ain't too smart are ya? Speedy never thought of you like that. He really likes you."  
Still nothing.  
"Look, just come to the lounge, alright? There's something you gotta see." And then he was gone.

Scott debated with himself for a couple minutes on whether he should go. He didn't want to see Speedy again...but he had to face his problems. It's what a real man would do. So despite everything in him screaming at him to not go, he couldn't let himself be a coward. He got up and left his room.  
He made his way to the lounge, feeling more and more anxious. When he got to the door, he was almost about to change his mind when he heard some distressing sounds from the other side. They were very pained cries and sobs that were hard to listen to.  
And they were undeniably Speedy's.  
Scott didn't think twice before barging in to the sight of Speedy having sex with a few men, only this time was different. The men were being very rough with Speedy, as evidenced by the red marks all over him and the tears streaming out from beneath his mask.  
"You're such a fucking whore. The only thing you're good for is being our little cum slave," was just one of the many vulgar, degrading lines that Scott had heard before he marched right up to one of the men and decked him in the face.  
"Hey, the fuck do you think you're doing?!"  
"That's quite enough! Can't you see he doesn't want it anymore?"  
Speedy looked up. "Z-Zero?"  
"Who the fuck do you think you are?! Stay out of this!"  
"I will not let you abuse this poor man any further!"  
"I can abuse that slutty piece of ass all I want!"  
This earned him another punch to the face, this time so hard it knocked him over.  
"He is a human being, not some toy for you to use!"  
The man on the ground growled, but he saw that he was outmatched. He got up.  
"Fine, alright? Whatever, keep him. I don't give a shit anymore."  
He walked away and Scott glared at the other 3 men. They too saw that there was no contest and scurried away. Once they were gone, Scott walked over to the nearly naked man and helped him up from where he was bent over the table.  
"Speedy, are you alright?"  
"I don't know," he murmured. Scott picked up his clothes.  
"Here, get dressed, I'll help you to your room."  
Speedy nodded and shakily put on his clothes.  
Once he was dressed Scott put a hand on his shoulder and they walked together out of the lounge and down the hall to Speedy's room.


End file.
